The phrase “kicked the bucket” never rang more true than it did Friday morning at the home of Mr. Bucket. After a lifelong battle of popping balls out of his mouth and dealing with extremely long arms and no legs, an 86-year-old Mr. Bucket kicked himself peacefully in his sleep.

Mr. Bucket, born in the early 1990s, aged quickly due to the inappropriate and vulgar lyrics of his own jingle. His life was rich and full of balls being placed in his top, coming out of his mouth and trying to avoid the little brats who would be the first to get all their balls in Mr. Bucket, only to grab him by his handle and hoist him into the air, full of balls.

He was given the name Frank Balls Bucket as a child after his parents, Doris and Theodore Bucket, noticed his love of having balls in his mouth. Growing up as a child, friends and relatives would marvel at the sight of just how many balls Little Franky could hold between his cheeks at one time.

When he reached his teenage years, enough had become enough and Frank no longer wanted to be known as a lover of taking balls. It was at this time that he changed his name to a much more respectable Mr. Bucket and refused to hold any balls in his mouth. Any ball shoved into Mr. Bucket was immediately returned. It didn’t matter what color, not even blue balls could withstand the rage of Mr. Bucket.

Later in life, after the hilarity of making Mr. Bucket take people’s balls had finally died, he retired from show business and worked for gaycruisevacations.com where he volunteered as an ice bucket on the weekends. “Finally,” he thought, “I will never have to deal with balls in my mouth.”

In lieu of flowers, family and friends are asking that mourners contribute to Mr. Bucket’s charitable fund at www.getyourballsoutofmymouth.com. Mr. Bucket’s memorial service will take place at 2 p.m. Sunday at the Ball State chapel.

Categories: Obituaries, Videos
Tags: balls, dead, Mr. Bucket