Simultaneous airings of Dakota Fanning movies cause pedophile’s head to explode

Simultaneous airings of Dakota Fanning movies cause pedophile’s head to explode

Convicted pedophile Jim Berry's head explodes when faced with simultaneous airings of two Dakota Fanning movies.

April 27 — Medical examiners are blaming over-stimulation as the cause of a Winnemucka man’s death, when the convicted pedophile couldn’t decide which Dakota Fanning movie to watch on cable Saturday afternoon and his head burst.

Jim Berry, 46, was discovered by a neighbor who reported hearing a loud “pop” coming from Berry’s home around 2:47 p.m. Saturday.

“I went in and there was Jim slumped over in his chair, only without his head,” said Miles Francis, Berry’s neighbor. “There were bits of skull and brain all around, I noticed, and his neck was still smoking. I didn’t know what happened ‘til I saw what was on the TV: ‘Hide and Seek,’ with ‘I Am Sam’ on the picture-in-picture. That sick fuck.”

Television listings for networks USA and TNT confirm the simultaneous airings of the movies, both of which star the precocious young actress. Authorities say it’s lucky Berry didn’t also check TBS, which was showing an episode of “Friends” in which Fanning guest-starred.

“There probably wouldn’t have been any of him left,” said Humboldt County Sheriff’s Deputy Lance Sudnow, who then smiled. “I would’ve liked to have seen that, actually.”

Berry had been living in the area since March after his release from prison on charges of enticing a child into illegally downloading child pornography for him, because he couldn’t figure out how to work his computer.

“They were completely trumped-up charges,” said Berry’s attorney, William Fettermeyer. “Jim had just bought a computer with Microsoft Vista on it. I dare anyone to figure out that operating system without the aid of a minor.”

Berry’s is the second reported case of exploding pedophiles in Nevada since 2004, when Pioche resident Hank Fry turned on his on-screen cable guide and found “Home Alone” airing across from “Getting Even With Dad.” The resulting blast leveled Fry’s mobile home, and singed several neighboring trailers.

Fry’s death brought legal action on his behalf by the North American Man/Boy Love Association against Nevada cable provider Cox Communications.

“The wonton negligence shown by Cox in airing two movies starring heartthrob Macaulay Culkin in his prime is disgusting,” according to a NAMBLA press release. “The members of NAMBLA have until now had a very close relationship with Cox, and have enjoyed all that Cox has to offer. But if Cox continues to show such disregard for our members, than NAMBLA may have to give up Cox altogether.”

A funeral for Berry will be held outside Orovada, where, in accordance with Nevada law, he will be dumped in the desert and left to rot.



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