Bill Clinton sat with a certain look of pride on his face, watching news coverage of the Eliot Spitzer scandal like a proud papa at his son’s first Little League game.

Clinton, of course, is the standard-bearer for all political scandals, Republican or Democrat. However, Democrats looking to stem criticism following New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s resignation pointed to the greatness and entertainment of their scandals compared paltry Republican “poser” disgraces.

“Seriously, you have to admit, this scandal is pretty fucking sweet,” Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean said during a conference call with reporters Monday. “The guy got to be governor based on a career of rooting out corruption, including prostitution rings, and then gets caught in one such ring himself.

“It’ll never beat Bill Clinton in ’98, but it’s in the top five.”

New York Lt. Gov. David Paterson wasted no time in carrying on Spitzer’s legacy, admitting to several affairs during a rocky part in his marriage years ago. The statements came the same day Paterson took over for Spitzer and a week before Paterson admitted to past cocaine use.

Paterson will be a perfect governor to keep the ball rolling, Dean said.

“We won’t miss a beat with David Paterson,” he said. “And to make it even better, he’s legally blind, which immediately scores more points on the coolness scale.”

Other Democrats agreed with Dean’s statements.

“So many times nowadays, you here things like ‘So-and-so’s brother-in-law made a land deal 25 years ago with somebody’s sister who’s now under indictment,” Majority Leader Harry Reid said. “And at the end, you’re just like, what?

“The Spitzer scandal has it all – sex, hookers, Washington, fancy hotels, and cash. Tons and tons of cash.”

U.S. Sen. Chuck Schumer said Republicans’ scandals fall far short of the Democrats’ example, saying complex money laundering schemes are difficult for the average American to understand.

Spitzer’s prostitute, on the other hand, had pictures on her Myspace page, making it easy for anyone with an Internet connection to access.

Meanwhile, Clinton took it all in while in his lounge at the New York Marriott, salivating at the possibility of becoming First Gentleman and having nothing but time on his hands in the nation’s capital.

“They think Lewinsky was good, they haven’t seen anything yet if Hillary’s elected,” the 42^nd president said. “I got a blow job in the Oval Office by an intern and stuck a cigar into a place the sun don’t shine. But I’m telling you, they’ll have to build another wing onto my presidential library by the time Hillary’s term is over.”

Categories: Politics
Tags: Bill Clinton, David Paterson, eliot spitzer, General awesomeness, Howard Dean