At a time when every movement of presidential hopefuls dominates the media, President Bush has declared he “feels left out” and has made efforts to be thrust back into the spotlight.

Starting Monday, Bush made the announcement that he would only wear Looney Tunes-themed ties until the Presidential Primaries are over.

Plans to get attention instantly failed, however, as the press questioned if his decision was motivated by Sen. Barack Obama’s love of Daffy Duck.

“Are you saying you support Senator Obama? What are your thoughts on his health insurance policies?” a reporter from the New York Times asked before completely phasing out Bush’s response to write about Sen. Hilary Clinton’s outfit that day.

On Tuesday, Bush held a press conference to discuss his plans for the 2009 fiscal budget, but when reporters arrived, he insisted only on telling a variety of knock-knock jokes.

“What about the billion-dollar budget deficit?” a pint-sized reporter demanded. “What are your plans for military spending?”

The response was quick and devoid of humor.

“Hey, Short stack, knock, knock,” Bush said as he made a knocking motion on the reporter’s forehead. “Then you say, ‘who’s there?’ and I say, ‘Orange.’ ‘Orange who?’ you say and then I go, ‘Orange you glad I didn’t talk about the budget?”

It was at this point that Bush fell over in side-splitting laughter, gasping for air and giving noogies to anyone within arm shot.

Reporters grew annoyed quickly to Bush’s attempt for media attention and at one point, a reporter from The Washington Post asked Bush if he’d heard Sen. John McCain’s joke about the Jew, the Rabbi and the stripper.

At this point, Bush crossed his arms and shouted, “This is my show, mine! It’s still my office and that means you have to listen to me! McCain can kiss my ass. Who’s the president of the United States, again? Oh yeah, that’s me! ME!”

Bush stormed out, leaving the press less than affected – many having already fallen asleep after Bush’s interrupting cow knock-knock joke lasted more than two hours, as Bush tried to get the timing perfect.

Fast forward to Wednesday when Bush crashed presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee’s campaign stop in Connecticut, storming on stage and doing cartwheels and summersaults to try and distract the press.

Efforts were not successful and Bush, dressed in a glittery sequin shirt and assless chaps, was escorted off stage immediately. News reports the next day did not even mention Bush’s appearance.

The final straw came on a Thursday afternoon when after several hours Bush refused to get dressed or come out of the Oval Office for meetings with the president of Iran. Bush sat in the office in his Superman pajamas, refusing to let anyone in or talk with his staff, except to request more boxes of Legos and a grilled cheese with the crusts cut off.

Finally at 4:30 a.m., Bush emerged from the office, exhausted, sweating and with grilled cheese crumbs on his face.

“I did it, I finally did it,” he said between gasps for air. “The press will love this … and love me!”

As members of the media filed in the room, the sight was equally astonishing as it was pathetic. What stood before them, and could only be described as a large waste of time, was a 15-foot Lego tower, complete with fire-breathing dragon and oddly placed Lego spaceship.

The media ate it up and prepared for big stories on Bush’s clear and apparent dementia. Before the story could hit the front page, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney announced he would be switching to Cottonelle for his toilet paper needs.

The story bumped Bush’s Lego Tower catastrophe to a small brief on the bottom of the back page of the newspaper.

Categories: Politics
Tags: George Bush, hobbies, legos, presidential race