Fat guy says Baconator doesn’t have enough bacon
 Photo credit: Philip Greenspun |
| Fat Guy consumes his 69712th Baconator. Realizes no amount of bacon will satisfy his hunger. |
ANYWHERE, America – A random Fat Guy has declared war on Wendy’s for false advertising, claiming the “Baconator” doesn’t have enough bacon.
According to the Fat Guy, the burger – which boasts two slices of meat, two slices of cheese plus six slices of bacon – and retails for about 99 cents does not have enough bacon to be called the Baconator.
“Six slices of bacon does not a Baconator make,” said the Fat Guy, as he wiped up the residual burger slop on his the dirty white t-shirt that barely covers his 400-lb “big boned” frame. “It’s more like a… ummm… Bacon nugget.”
Fat Guy suggests that Wendy’s cram at least fifteen to sixteen more pieces of Bacon onto the Baconator before using the name. Or, perhaps, he feels there could be several tiers of Baconators - the big-boned, the lard-ass and “the clogger” - each with an increasing amount of bacon.
Bob Bertini, a spokesman for Wendy’s, said in a statement that “Wendy’s values all of our customers - including the morbidly obese - and we realize there are a wide variety of palates we have to satisfy. In our estimation, six slices of bacon met the threshold for the Baconator, but we will take into consideration the suggestions put forth by Mr. Fat Guy.”
His beef with Wendy’s hasn’t stopped Fat Guy from consuming at least two Baconators a day — each with 830 calories and 51 grams of fat — but he wants his money back.
“This is un-American,” Fat Guy said. “It’s unpatriotic. It’s right there in the Constitution - life, liberty and the pursuit of bacon.”
– USA Tomorrow staffer G. Gordon Guhnette contributed to this report.
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