Favre retirement leads to demise of Wisconsin
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Neighboring states Michigan, Illinois and Minnesota took advantage of Wisconsin’s collective grief over Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre’s retirement to invade the Dairy state, taking Wisconsinites by surprise.
By noon, Minnesota National Guard units had advanced on Highway 94 towards Eau Claire and were on their way to Wausau.
Illinois National Guard air units secured the area between Milwaukee and Madison, while Michigan’s Minute Men triumphantly raised the Detroit Lions flag in Lambeau Field in Green Bay.
The three states, which had secretly signed a pact in 1996 in St. Louis, have been waiting for this day since Favre lead the Packers to a Super Bowl victory in 1997, according to a statement from Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich and Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm.
“Those Cheeseheads have been spending the last decade in a smug, self-righteous haze – now it’s our turn to show them who’s really in control,” the statement said.
Calling his neighbors the “new axis of evil,” Wisconsin Gov. Jim Doyle made a futile attempt to mobilize the Wisconsin National Guard, but most of them were too distraught by the news that they could not respond quickly enough to the threat.
The three states – operating as the tri-state military authority – have declared martial law and plan to institute a power-sharing plan in the next few hours based partially on the post-World War II split of Germany. Wisconsin residents will be required to wear a Cheesehead and some green and gold if they plan to be outdoors.A curfew of 9 p.m. has been instituted in all Wisconsin municipalities.



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