Striking writers, including TV's Tina Fey, center, returned to the picket lines today, demanding, new fancier pens to write with. "What do we want?" Fey chanted. "Omas Ingegno Srittorio Limited Editions!" the crowd answered. "When do we want them?" "In three months or so!"

The entertainment industry was dealt another blow today when, less than one week after settling a strike for increased residuals, the Writers Guild of America returned to the picket lines, this time demanding new pens.

Striking scribes in Hollywood and New York took to the streets, signs in hand, chanting “We’re sick of Bics! We’re sick of Bics!”

Representatives for the union blamed the impasse on a scuffle during the signing of the previous strike-ending contract last week.

“We were all set to end that, uh, horrible…just horrible three-month vaca … uh, strike, and get back to, you know, work,” said Writers Guild General Counsel Tony Segall, “when the guys from the Producers Guild whip out these kick-ass pens to sign their fat-cat names with! And I thought, ‘Shit, man, where are OUR kick-ass pens?’ We can’t really be expected to go back to work without kick-ass pens in our hands, can we?”

The guild is demanding one Omas Ingegno Scrittorio Solid Gold Limited Edition fountain pen, valued at $5,500, for each of the nearly 12,000 striking writers. The Producers Guild is protesting the demand, pointing out that there were only 1,000 such pens made, and that that’s what “limited” means.

The writers are sticking to their guns, and have returned to their now-familiar places on the picket lines. Some have resumed their long-running hacky-sack tournaments, while others held sing-a-longs hand-in-hand around trashcan fires.

“It’s not easy being on strike, you know,” said screenwriter John Sayles, biting into a piping hot s’more, “but sometimes you just need to take a stand.” Turning to a group of laughing writers a few yards away, Sayles calls out, “Hey, I’m next with the Bop-It, okay, fellas?”

The new strike comes just as television writers were returning to the shows they had vacated back in November. David Greenwalt, a writer for the CBS supernatural drama “Moonlight,” about a vampire detective, said he was all set to get back to work. “Then I realized, shit, nobody watches this show anyway. Seriously, do you know anyone who watches this crap? So I figured, might as well strike again. It’s what I’m used to.”

Holding a bullhorn in one hand and an ice cream cone in the other, television writer Tina Fey led a chant in New York’s Rockefeller Center. “What do we want? Omas Ingegno Scrittorio Limited Editions! When do we want them? In three months or so!”

With striking scribes chanting outside his New York office, Viacom chairman Sumner Redstone expressed his displeasure.

“Get off my lawn, you durn-blasted kids!” the 84-year-old media magnate yelled out his window. “I’m tryin’ ta take a dadgum nap! Don’t make me take off ma’ belt!”

In addition to the new pens, the Writers Guild is demanding a longer lunch break, a two-cookie dessert minimum, and three months off a year for striking.

“We do have quite a bit of fun doing this, I won’t lie,” said Segall.

Categories: Entertainment
Tags: home, pens, Television, writer's strike