Spears Family: Adopt-a-Failure Program
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| The family at a different, more respectable time. |
LOS ANGELES - Recently published photographs of a golf outing between ex-husband to Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, and her own father raised some eyebrows in LA this week. According to caddy Eve Sropper, the two discussed an issue near and dear to Brit’s parents – cleaning up their tarnished name.
In an ill-conceived move to return trailer park honor to their family, Britney’s father asked his ex-son-in-law, Kevin Federline, to adopt the Spears’ other daughter, recently pregnant 16-year-old, Jamie Lynn.
“Mr. Spears seemed really desperate,” Sropper said. “I guess I’d be too if both my kids were total hoochies.”
Entertainment speculators not surprised by the news noted that recent months have seen Britney in and out of the psychiatric ward and Jamie Lynn getting knocked-up just in time to take her driver’s test. Also, the children’s mother, Lynn, saw her book deal on parenting get shelved indefinitely.
If Federline agreed to such an offer, this would bring the total children in his care to a total of five.
“The four children currently in his custody include two from his relationship with Ms. Spears and two from a previous relationship,” stated a representative from California Child Protective Services, who agreed to speak anonymously. “Adding a fifth minor to the household is not out of the question.”
K-Fed’s ex-girlfriend and mother to two of the four children, Shar Jackson, was not surprised by the news.
“That is so something those crazy-ass white trash fools would do!” she said. “Don’t piss off Lynn either; she crazy! But if Kevin even thinks about bringing some pregnant hillbilly child near my kids…shoot. I’m calling him right now!”
Sropper was unsure if any agreement had been reached at the end of the 18 holes but did say Federline seemed open to the idea.
“Mr. Spears said something about ‘damaged goods’ and Kevin smiled.”
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